Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a prime minister in a fury of his own making, a duke accepting footwear from veterans on the far side of the world, and a machine so alarming it has sent the entire world of high finance into a collective swoon. This Author has rarely encountered a day so thoroughly stocked with the improbable - and she has covered rather a lot of days.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this very morning brings word of an audacious shadow industry, a checkout fee that has enraged eighty thousand learner drivers, and a defence secretary dispatching one hundred and twenty thousand drones before luncheon. Whether the Kingdom's affairs are conducted with more ingenuity in its law firms or its corridors of power, This Author leaves entirely to your judgement.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has arrived armed with declarations of national peril, institutional catastrophe, and - most improbably - a reformed rock musician. The corridors of power tremble, the antipodes receive their most commercially minded visitors, and a gentleman who once scorned an honour now wishes to bring flowers and apologise. Your column awaits.