Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a collision of royal diplomacy, political catastrophe, and courtroom intrigue that would tax even the most seasoned observer of society's peculiarities. His Majesty the King is to be dispatched as an unlikely peace envoy to the most temperamental occupant the American Colonies have ever produced - and that is before we address the rather more domestic disasters closer to home. Steel yourself, for today's dispatches are not for the faint of heart.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's column today contains such a potent blend of political theatre, dark tidings from behind prison walls, and absurdity most magnificent that one risks social ruin simply by being uninformed of it. A Chancellor under siege, a Viscount parading his sums, and a death that has set every drawing room tongue wagging - you would be wise not to be the last to know.