Dearest Gentle Reader, this day has delivered grief most genuine, a royal visit most calamitous, and a bail application so audacious it left seasoned detectives speechless. This Author has survived the heat, the headlines, and the revelation that a letter from a rapper carries less legal weight than one might hope - and she is ready to report every last extraordinary detail.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a monarch baring his tax bill to the nation, a government minister telling his superior to 'stay classy' from the digital salons, and forty hospital staff whose curiosity has proved rather more dangerous than their patient's reptilian assailant. This Author's lorgnette has been working quite the overtime - read on, if you dare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday finds royalty addressing foreign assemblies, landlords weeping over empty coffers, and oil barons quietly toasting a war they did not start. This Author has observations - some grave, some wickedly arch, and one or two that shall require a steadying cup of something strong before you proceed.