Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings revelations most extraordinary - corner shops with a rather more creative product range than one might expect, a £662 million handshake across the Channel that has caused no small controversy, and a former prime minister with some thoroughly convenient concerns about the very industry now signing his pay cheques. This Author's eyebrows have scarcely had a moment's rest.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's pen has been most busy this day, for the realm offers a banquet of follies - a Chancellor insisting all is well whilst the wheels fall from the carriage, a Secretary declaring war upon the very rollercoaster he rides, and a most intriguing audience at the Palace that has set tongues wagging on both sides of the Atlantic. One would hate for you to be the only person at tonight's supper without the particulars.