Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has delivered a king addressing foreign legislators, a government scrambling to avoid a most inconvenient inquiry, and a face cream making promises it had absolutely no business making. This Author has opinions on all of it - and perhaps a raised eyebrow or two to spare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday has delivered a dispatch so varied in its alarms that this Author's pen has barely paused for breath - from the corridors of power where a Prime Minister protests, rather too vigorously, that everyone loves him, to a Surrey suburb where a mob was roused by a crime that never occurred. And amidst the geopolitical tumult, one small stuffed kangaroo is quietly preparing for a transatlantic diplomatic mission. Read on - you will not regret it.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a collision of royal diplomacy, political catastrophe, and courtroom intrigue that would tax even the most seasoned observer of society's peculiarities. His Majesty the King is to be dispatched as an unlikely peace envoy to the most temperamental occupant the American Colonies have ever produced - and that is before we address the rather more domestic disasters closer to home. Steel yourself, for today's dispatches are not for the faint of heart.