Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday the Grand Assembly returns from recess bearing documents of extraordinary volume, a court has declared common sense the winner of a £100 million dispute, and a personal trainer has been awarded a small fortune for the crime of an empty chair. There is, besides all this, a whiteboard in Nottingham that this Author cannot shake from her thoughts - and which every person of conscience ought to know about.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has delivered a king addressing foreign legislators, a government scrambling to avoid a most inconvenient inquiry, and a face cream making promises it had absolutely no business making. This Author has opinions on all of it - and perhaps a raised eyebrow or two to spare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday has delivered a dispatch so varied in its alarms that this Author's pen has barely paused for breath - from the corridors of power where a Prime Minister protests, rather too vigorously, that everyone loves him, to a Surrey suburb where a mob was roused by a crime that never occurred. And amidst the geopolitical tumult, one small stuffed kangaroo is quietly preparing for a transatlantic diplomatic mission. Read on - you will not regret it.