Dearest Gentle Reader, the prisons are full, a pastor is mourned, and a shadow minister has announced himself to the world a full two years before anyone is required to vote. This Sunday brings grief, political theatre, and a Channel crossing gone very badly wrong - and this Author has opinions on all of it.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this day has delivered a fifth prime minister, a minister of shoes who resigned with honour, and a water bill so monstrous it would make even the most phlegmatic householder weep. This Author has opinions on all of it - and on a certain Hollywood wedding attended by handcuffs and an Elvis impersonator.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday the Grand Assembly returns from recess bearing documents of extraordinary volume, a court has declared common sense the winner of a £100 million dispute, and a personal trainer has been awarded a small fortune for the crime of an empty chair. There is, besides all this, a whiteboard in Nottingham that this Author cannot shake from her thoughts - and which every person of conscience ought to know about.