Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a historic conviction from North Britain, a Prime Minister composing essays somewhere between Jeddah and Qatar, and a car wash in the Principality that has been moonlighting as the most reviewed smuggling operation in Europe. This Author's eyebrow has not lowered once since breakfast, and she does not expect it to do so before nightfall.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings a most extraordinary assortment of misfortunes - students dunned for loans they were encouraged to take, a shipping lane held to ransom by a most imperious neighbour, and a domestic situation involving two hundred and fifty dogs that this Author scarcely believes herself. The day's dispatches are, in equal measure, maddening, heartbreaking, and frankly unhinged - read on, if you dare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Wednesday has arrived in a blaze of quite inappropriate sunshine, bearing with it a ceasefire, a collapsed housing market, and a crime against scouts that defies all decent comprehension. This Author has much to report, and not a moment to spare - the ton shall not rest easy this April evening.