Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a Prime Minister squirming before the Grand Assembly, a community quietly mapping its exits from these shores, and a Travelodge Inn that has apparently decided security is a mere suggestion. This Author has her eyebrow firmly raised and her pen most thoroughly inked.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a prime minister in desperate need of better advisers, a community in desperate need of protection, and a life jacket that has, against all odds, appreciated in value over the past century. This Author has opinions on all three - and a raised eyebrow firmly in reserve for those who claim ignorance most loudly.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a deposed official, a prime minister with rather a lot to answer for, and a small furry creature who has made the entire apparatus of government look positively amateurish by comparison. Pull up a chair - today's dispatches are not to be missed.