Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings revelations most extraordinary - corner shops with a rather more creative product range than one might expect, a £662 million handshake across the Channel that has caused no small controversy, and a former prime minister with some thoroughly convenient concerns about the very industry now signing his pay cheques. This Author's eyebrows have scarcely had a moment's rest.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday brings a most instructive collection of calamities: prices climbing, civil servants shivering, and a fast-food empire that would prefer not to discuss its own recent history. Yet amid the gloom, a lady from Solihull has gone to the seaside and returned with something quite extraordinary - and This Author is not speaking of a stick of rock.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a Prime Minister squirming before the Grand Assembly, a community quietly mapping its exits from these shores, and a Travelodge Inn that has apparently decided security is a mere suggestion. This Author has her eyebrow firmly raised and her pen most thoroughly inked.