Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a prime minister in a fury of his own making, a duke accepting footwear from veterans on the far side of the world, and a machine so alarming it has sent the entire world of high finance into a collective swoon. This Author has rarely encountered a day so thoroughly stocked with the improbable - and she has covered rather a lot of days.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a government that wishes to govern your toddler's viewing habits, a peer whose personal telephone is suddenly of the greatest public interest, and a woman who believed ziplining in Mexico was entirely compatible with being housebound. One barely knows where to direct one's eyebrow first.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author has today encountered a footpath of preposterous length, designer hounds behaving most abominably, and a certain former ambassador whose correspondence grows ever more fascinating by the hour. One would not wish to miss a single word of what follows.