Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings confessions of innocence from the highest reaches of North Britain, a recently resigned minister who appears to have forgotten his own government's budget, and a fungus that has declared war on a foreign invader with more success than most diplomatic efforts of recent memory. Your lorgnette will earn its keep today.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has delivered embezzled motorhomes, a former prime minister's unsolicited lecture to a current one, shadowy Muscovite fleets in Kingdom waters, and energy bills that would make even the most stoic among us reach for the smelling salts. This Author's quill has scarcely paused for breath, and the surprises are far from exhausted.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday brings a Kingdom sweating under record-breaking heat, a court in Edinburgh ringing with the sound of a guilty plea most motorhome-shaped, and the nation's finest physicians declaring war on the little glowing screens your children will not put down. This Author has raised both eyebrows and requires a cool compress - do read on.