Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a prime minister who cannot name a date, a heatwave that shows no such indecision, and a seven-year-old Brownie who has, quietly, solved the greatest logistical challenge of modern womanhood. This Author has raised an eyebrow so high it may not return before Wednesday.

Dearest Gentle Reader, one hundred and twenty millionaires have done something quite extraordinary this Thursday - and no, it does not involve a yacht. Meanwhile, the courts have been busy, Glasgow prepares to welcome the world, and a story of quite breathtaking courage and heartbreak concludes with a cat entirely indifferent to its own role in proceedings. This Author's lorgnette has rarely been so thoroughly exercised.

Dearest Gentle Reader, today's dispatches bring cheaper chocolate, a hot microphone that has embarrassed the Cabinet, and a thirteen-year-old prince photographed in a suit with his hands in his pockets - which is either a sign of great composure or a very good tailor. This Author has opinions on all of it, and decorum will restrain only some of them.