Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday has delivered independence, invasion, and interplanetary intrigue in such rapid succession that This Author's quill has scarcely had time to dry. From the triumphant shores of North Britain to the rather less triumphant shores of the English Channel, the day's affairs are nothing short of extraordinary - and that is before one even glances skyward.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday has delivered electoral carnage of the most spectacular variety, a nautical health scare that even the most imaginative novelist could not have contrived, and the most joyous centenary this Author has had the privilege of recording. Pull up a chair, for the tea is already cold and the scandal is piping hot.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday brings democracy to the doorstep, a Princess bound for Italy, and thirty lorries operating under cover of darkness in the Essex countryside. This Author has questions about all three - and the answers are, as ever, more diverting than one might expect.