Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has arrived bearing gifts of the most alarming variety - a veiled threat from Muscovy, a fertility scandal of breathtaking audacity, and a warehouse full of impounded dinghies. If you believed the Kingdom might enjoy a quiet morning, This Author is delighted to disabuse you of that most optimistic of notions.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday has served up a most remarkable platter - an unelected would-be prime minister who declines to answer questions, a Navy that has quietly retired an entire class of warship in favour of something rather more futuristic, and the loss of a lady who played a snob so magnificently that an entire nation wept with laughter for decades. This Author has her lorgnette trained and her quill sharpened - do read on.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a royal security drama that would make even the most seasoned novelist blush, a football farewell signed in fresh ink, and a golden medal that fetched a sum quite sufficient to fund a small principality. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she is not, for once, keeping them to herself.