Dearest Gentle Reader, today's dispatches span forty years of an unresolved mystery, a fourth heatwave that the Kingdom has received with all the surprise of a punctual train, and a television sofa vacated with considerably more grace than this Author had anticipated. Whether it is the heat, the headlines, or the curious vacancy left by a seventeen-year fixture, Tuesday has once again proved itself incapable of dullness - read on, if you dare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a prime minister who cannot name a date, a heatwave that shows no such indecision, and a seven-year-old Brownie who has, quietly, solved the greatest logistical challenge of modern womanhood. This Author has raised an eyebrow so high it may not return before Wednesday.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this very Sunday has delivered a prime minister who will not say whether he trusts a certain colonial president, a defence secretary who insists nobody need fear a sabre - and a party deputy whose company's donations have attracted the most unwelcome sort of scrutiny. This Author has barely had time to cool her tea before the dispatches multiplied most alarmingly.