Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings marriages built on treachery, miracle cures that are nothing of the sort, and a Duchess who has suffered - she wishes you to know - more than any soul alive. This Author has opinions on all of it, and the tea has gone quite cold in the telling.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has arrived armed with declarations of national peril, institutional catastrophe, and - most improbably - a reformed rock musician. The corridors of power tremble, the antipodes receive their most commercially minded visitors, and a gentleman who once scorned an honour now wishes to bring flowers and apologise. Your column awaits.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a diplomatic retreat of breathtaking awkwardness, a Duke embroiled in litigation with the very charity he created, and weather so offended by its own recent warmth that it has sent hail by way of apology. This Author has observations on all of it - and a raised eyebrow to spare.