Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a palace squabble over a bed nobody shall be sleeping in, a pizza alibi that has now been formally investigated and found entirely lacking in evidence, and a patriot of the people whose personal arrangements turn out to be rather more generously funded than he saw fit to mention. All this, and a moment of genuine grace besides - but you shall have to read on to discover which story earns it.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a rogue's gallery of undeclared benefits, a constabulary in need of its conscience, and a royal grandfather separated from his grandchildren by four long years and a dispute over police protection. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she has not even reached the artificial intelligence that now wishes to diagnose your ailments before you have finished describing them.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a royal security drama that would make even the most seasoned novelist blush, a football farewell signed in fresh ink, and a golden medal that fetched a sum quite sufficient to fund a small principality. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she is not, for once, keeping them to herself.