Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author finds herself besieged on all sides this day by whispers of missiles gone astray, a vanished Duchess whom all of America wishes to question under oath, and a governing party that cannot seem to agree upon a single thing whilst the world burns around it. Add to this celestial fireworks and a contagion in Kent, and one begins to wonder whether Saturday itself has taken leave of its senses.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author has today encountered a footpath of preposterous length, designer hounds behaving most abominably, and a certain former ambassador whose correspondence grows ever more fascinating by the hour. One would not wish to miss a single word of what follows.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's column today concerns hidden fortunes, blank pages that set Westminster ablaze, and a stable door shut far too late to matter. One might think the Season's intrigues could not grow more delicious - one would be gravely mistaken. Do click through before someone less discreet reveals what you have missed.