Dearest Gentle Reader, Storm Dave has made a thorough nuisance of himself across the Kingdom on this Easter Sunday, yet the weather is the least of our concerns - for a certain American provocateur threatens to descend upon the Capital this summer, and the corridors of power are distinctly unamused. Meanwhile, the Royal Family has braved the elements for chapel, a new Archbishop has delivered her first sermon, and the comedy industry has begged the government for money, which is, one must admit, the most British thing imaginable.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has delivered arsonists, a hospital's fatal silence, a crystal meth-collecting former Justice Minister, and a hero who embraced a bomber - all before Canterbury makes ecclesiastical history this very afternoon. This Author's constitution has been tested, her eyebrow raised to quite unprecedented heights, and her admiration for a certain nurse from Leeds knows no earthly bounds.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's column today concerns hidden fortunes, blank pages that set Westminster ablaze, and a stable door shut far too late to matter. One might think the Season's intrigues could not grow more delicious - one would be gravely mistaken. Do click through before someone less discreet reveals what you have missed.