Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a duchess's anguished statement, a detective's long-overdue reckoning with an institution that failed her most grievously, and - for those who require a lighter diversion - the imminent coronation of the Kingdom's next great fictional spy. The drawing rooms shall have quite enough to discuss before the weekend has properly begun.

Dearest Gentle Reader, today's dispatch brings corridors where there ought to be beds, a police commissioner at war with the criminal underworld of stolen telephones, and one very persistent retail magnate who has apparently decided that owning a quarter of Hugo Boss is simply not sufficient. If you had hoped for a quiet Thursday, this Author is afraid the news has other ideas entirely.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday brings democracy to the doorstep, a Princess bound for Italy, and thirty lorries operating under cover of darkness in the Essex countryside. This Author has questions about all three - and the answers are, as ever, more diverting than one might expect.