Dearest Gentle Reader, Wednesday has arrived in a blaze of quite inappropriate sunshine, bearing with it a ceasefire, a collapsed housing market, and a crime against scouts that defies all decent comprehension. This Author has much to report, and not a moment to spare - the ton shall not rest easy this April evening.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has furnished This Author with enough material to last a fortnight - from veterinary surgeons who have, it seems, been charging what they pleased for rather too long, to postal workers with a most imaginative approach to the meaning of 'delivery'. And that is before we arrive at the matter of four charity ambulances reduced to smouldering ruin in the Capital in the small hours of Monday morning. Your column awaits.