Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a diplomatic retreat of breathtaking awkwardness, a Duke embroiled in litigation with the very charity he created, and weather so offended by its own recent warmth that it has sent hail by way of apology. This Author has observations on all of it - and a raised eyebrow to spare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a historic conviction from North Britain, a Prime Minister composing essays somewhere between Jeddah and Qatar, and a car wash in the Principality that has been moonlighting as the most reviewed smuggling operation in Europe. This Author's eyebrow has not lowered once since breakfast, and she does not expect it to do so before nightfall.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings a most extraordinary assortment of misfortunes - students dunned for loans they were encouraged to take, a shipping lane held to ransom by a most imperious neighbour, and a domestic situation involving two hundred and fifty dogs that this Author scarcely believes herself. The day's dispatches are, in equal measure, maddening, heartbreaking, and frankly unhinged - read on, if you dare.