Dearest Gentle Reader, His Majesty the King has been distributing honours with magnificent liberality, North Britain has dissolved into tearful footballing rapture, and somewhere in Kansas City, a thief has made off with England's boots. This Author has opinions on all of it - and a particular view on one shop's attitude towards bacon that she simply cannot keep to herself.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's pen has been most busy this day, for the realm offers a banquet of follies - a Chancellor insisting all is well whilst the wheels fall from the carriage, a Secretary declaring war upon the very rollercoaster he rides, and a most intriguing audience at the Palace that has set tongues wagging on both sides of the Atlantic. One would hate for you to be the only person at tonight's supper without the particulars.