Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a transatlantic telephone call of splendid bluntness, a defence plan as absent as good sense in certain quarters, and a kebab scandal so audacious it deserves its own chapter in the annals of culinary deception. Plus - a royal wedding to restore one's faith in the possibility of a happy ending, if one can only get past the fraudulent mutton first.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author's pen has been most busy this day, for the realm offers a banquet of follies - a Chancellor insisting all is well whilst the wheels fall from the carriage, a Secretary declaring war upon the very rollercoaster he rides, and a most intriguing audience at the Palace that has set tongues wagging on both sides of the Atlantic. One would hate for you to be the only person at tonight's supper without the particulars.