Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings collision, conspiracy, and a bridge with a very low tolerance for warm weather - all before the weekend has properly begun. A train driver is dead near Bedford, a Prime Minister is telephoning his colleagues in something approaching desperation, and a crocodile enclosure in Cambridgeshire continues to demand answers. This Author has her lorgnette trained upon the whole extraordinary business and invites you to read every word.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday brings a high street crackdown long overdue, a safeguarding secret kept for three years in plain sight of the directors' box, and a heron who has, frankly, made a more dramatic entrance to these shores than most members of the ton manage in an entire Season. This Author has barely had time to cool her kedgeree - but then, the news waits for no one, least of all this Author.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Tuesday has delivered unto this Author a dispatch so rich in outrage and indignity that even her fourth cup of tea could not steady the nerves. A television programme stands accused of the most serious wrongdoing, a wrongfully imprisoned man is asked to foot his own bill for freedom, and the high street turns out to have been considerably more criminal than one ever imagined whilst browsing for a pastry. Brace yourself.