Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday brings a diplomatic retreat of breathtaking awkwardness, a Duke embroiled in litigation with the very charity he created, and weather so offended by its own recent warmth that it has sent hail by way of apology. This Author has observations on all of it - and a raised eyebrow to spare.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a historic conviction from North Britain, a Prime Minister composing essays somewhere between Jeddah and Qatar, and a car wash in the Principality that has been moonlighting as the most reviewed smuggling operation in Europe. This Author's eyebrow has not lowered once since breakfast, and she does not expect it to do so before nightfall.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Wednesday has arrived in a blaze of quite inappropriate sunshine, bearing with it a ceasefire, a collapsed housing market, and a crime against scouts that defies all decent comprehension. This Author has much to report, and not a moment to spare - the ton shall not rest easy this April evening.