Dearest Gentle Reader, this very Thursday has delivered a political pantomime so perfectly constructed one suspects the actors rehearsed it. Lady Reeves endorses the man expected to demote her, Lord Trump delivers a verdict so magnificently unhelpful it proves his opponent's point entirely, and somewhere in North Britain, an entire nation squints at a statistical table with the expression of a person who has been here before and knows precisely how it ends - yet cannot quite bring themselves to look away.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings news to make one weep with relief, frown with indignation, and gaze skyward in wonder - sometimes within the same paragraph. A single injection has achieved what generations of physicians could not, a television programme faces consequences it richly deserves, and two holes in a Wiltshire field turn out to be the most significant discovery in years. Your lorgnette will be required.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings Muscovite pilots playing aerial games of dare within six metres of an unarmed RAF aircraft, a former Health Secretary announcing a leadership coup over podcast, and two hapless walkers undone by the streams of North Britain - all while free omnibuses are hailed as the great salvation of the age. This Author has opinions on every last one of these matters, and not a single one shall be left unexamined.