Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings news to make one weep with relief, frown with indignation, and gaze skyward in wonder - sometimes within the same paragraph. A single injection has achieved what generations of physicians could not, a television programme faces consequences it richly deserves, and two holes in a Wiltshire field turn out to be the most significant discovery in years. Your lorgnette will be required.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings Muscovite pilots playing aerial games of dare within six metres of an unarmed RAF aircraft, a former Health Secretary announcing a leadership coup over podcast, and two hapless walkers undone by the streams of North Britain - all while free omnibuses are hailed as the great salvation of the age. This Author has opinions on every last one of these matters, and not a single one shall be left unexamined.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday has delivered independence, invasion, and interplanetary intrigue in such rapid succession that This Author's quill has scarcely had time to dry. From the triumphant shores of North Britain to the rather less triumphant shores of the English Channel, the day's affairs are nothing short of extraordinary - and that is before one even glances skyward.