Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday has arrived with ninety thousand darkened homes, a Budget so secret its authors sign oaths of silence, and a knighthood the Prince of Wales describes as the easiest decision in living memory - and that is before we reach the whale. This Author has much to report, and restrains herself only with the greatest of effort.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday has delivered a shot fired before dawn, a party leader trapped by his own rulebook until 2028, and a comedian who proved rather more formidable at a cash machine than any miscreant anticipated. This Author's lorgnette has been working quite extraordinarily hard - and the rose garden of the Prime Minister's Residence has never sounded quite so sinister.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings a Palace rebuttal of such exquisite precision that this Author nearly applauded, a drug two years overdue that has arrived at last for a thousand women, and a stranger who read a plea on the digital salons and promptly donated a kidney - because why not. The day is grave, the day is warm, and the day is, in its way, rather remarkable.