Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings dispatches of the gravest and most varied sort - a murder investigation that has stretched from Dartmoor to South Yorkshire, a Chancellor dispensing parting wisdom with a smile that does not quite reach her eyes, and a Kingdom that is, quite literally, on fire. This Author has much to set before you, and not all of it will be easy reading - though she promises to make it as bearable as the heat permits.

Dearest Gentle Reader, the Bayeux Tapestry has come home after nine centuries abroad - and it is not the only thing returning to these shores under somewhat fraught circumstances this Friday. A duchess un-appears from an itinerary, a political party finds its finances the subject of constabulary interest, and someone is attempting to sell you a fan for seventy pounds. Your devoted observer has been taking notes.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this day has furnished your devoted Author with a political resignation that may be the most theatrical since the invention of theatre, a £37 billion missile that will not be ready for several years, and news that the sea itself is running a fever. The octopus, it seems, is the only creature in these islands with a coherent strategy - and This Author has questions about Virgin Media that £28 million has not yet fully answered.