Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a rogue's gallery of undeclared benefits, a constabulary in need of its conscience, and a royal grandfather separated from his grandchildren by four long years and a dispute over police protection. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she has not even reached the artificial intelligence that now wishes to diagnose your ailments before you have finished describing them.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday delivers a most peculiar mixture of the scorching, the scandalous, and the strangely poignant - including a royal reunion four years in the making, a record shattered for the third day running, and a castle full of sculptures that even their owner refuses to claim. This Author has opinions on all of it, and very little intention of keeping them to herself.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a monarch baring his tax bill to the nation, a government minister telling his superior to 'stay classy' from the digital salons, and forty hospital staff whose curiosity has proved rather more dangerous than their patient's reptilian assailant. This Author's lorgnette has been working quite the overtime - read on, if you dare.