Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday brings a spy whose handlers found his machete habit unremarkable, a Duke turned away from his own childhood home, and a government that compared a lifetime of debt to a telephone contract - with a perfectly straight face. This Author has much to say on all counts, and very little of it is reassuring.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a rogue's gallery of undeclared benefits, a constabulary in need of its conscience, and a royal grandfather separated from his grandchildren by four long years and a dispute over police protection. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she has not even reached the artificial intelligence that now wishes to diagnose your ailments before you have finished describing them.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a royal security drama that would make even the most seasoned novelist blush, a football farewell signed in fresh ink, and a golden medal that fetched a sum quite sufficient to fund a small principality. This Author has opinions on all of it - and she is not, for once, keeping them to herself.