Dearest Gentle Reader, Storm Dave has made a thorough nuisance of himself across the Kingdom on this Easter Sunday, yet the weather is the least of our concerns - for a certain American provocateur threatens to descend upon the Capital this summer, and the corridors of power are distinctly unamused. Meanwhile, the Royal Family has braved the elements for chapel, a new Archbishop has delivered her first sermon, and the comedy industry has begged the government for money, which is, one must admit, the most British thing imaginable.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings a most extraordinary assortment of villainy, diplomatic hand-wringing, and at least one story involving luxury perfume purchased on borrowed virtue. This Author has raised both eyebrows and they have not yet returned to their natural position.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has seen a prime minister lean towards old allies, a broadcaster reckon with a most inconvenient memory, and a beloved national institution bid farewell in a manner that may require your best handkerchief. This Author has also uncovered an extortion racket so brazen it makes the taxman look bashful - and it concerns the very portal through which you sold your last townhouse.