Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday brings a Kingdom sweating under record-breaking heat, a court in Edinburgh ringing with the sound of a guilty plea most motorhome-shaped, and the nation's finest physicians declaring war on the little glowing screens your children will not put down. This Author has raised both eyebrows and requires a cool compress - do read on.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Saturday has delivered independence, invasion, and interplanetary intrigue in such rapid succession that This Author's quill has scarcely had time to dry. From the triumphant shores of North Britain to the rather less triumphant shores of the English Channel, the day's affairs are nothing short of extraordinary - and that is before one even glances skyward.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings a Prime Minister squirming before the Grand Assembly, a community quietly mapping its exits from these shores, and a Travelodge Inn that has apparently decided security is a mere suggestion. This Author has her eyebrow firmly raised and her pen most thoroughly inked.