Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a prime minister in a fury of his own making, a duke accepting footwear from veterans on the far side of the world, and a machine so alarming it has sent the entire world of high finance into a collective swoon. This Author has rarely encountered a day so thoroughly stocked with the improbable - and she has covered rather a lot of days.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings marriages built on treachery, miracle cures that are nothing of the sort, and a Duchess who has suffered - she wishes you to know - more than any soul alive. This Author has opinions on all of it, and the tea has gone quite cold in the telling.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has arrived armed with declarations of national peril, institutional catastrophe, and - most improbably - a reformed rock musician. The corridors of power tremble, the antipodes receive their most commercially minded visitors, and a gentleman who once scorned an honour now wishes to bring flowers and apologise. Your column awaits.