Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author finds herself besieged on all sides this day by whispers of missiles gone astray, a vanished Duchess whom all of America wishes to question under oath, and a governing party that cannot seem to agree upon a single thing whilst the world burns around it. Add to this celestial fireworks and a contagion in Kent, and one begins to wonder whether Saturday itself has taken leave of its senses.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author finds herself positively overwhelmed this Friday, for a certain gentleman's paid performances have come back to haunt him most spectacularly, a celebrated authoress appears to have misplaced an entire book from her memory, and the hearths of the nation face a most unwelcome price upon their warmth. One simply must read on.