Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday delivers a prince who sub-lets, a machine that outsmarts every virologist alive, and a mathematics paper so brutal it has driven twenty thousand souls to petition for mercy. Whether one's concerns run to royal cottages, university crossbows, or the imminent implosion of the Progressive Assembly's leadership arrangements, this Author has the full, rather bewildering account - and she trusts you will not wish to miss a single syllable of it.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings confessions of innocence from the highest reaches of North Britain, a recently resigned minister who appears to have forgotten his own government's budget, and a fungus that has declared war on a foreign invader with more success than most diplomatic efforts of recent memory. Your lorgnette will earn its keep today.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings Muscovite pilots playing aerial games of dare within six metres of an unarmed RAF aircraft, a former Health Secretary announcing a leadership coup over podcast, and two hapless walkers undone by the streams of North Britain - all while free omnibuses are hailed as the great salvation of the age. This Author has opinions on every last one of these matters, and not a single one shall be left unexamined.