Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday has furnished your devoted Author with a village that voted to leave the Kingdom, a Prime Minister mourning his father, and a newborn whose birthplace is officially listed as a cinema. The nation's petrol prices climb, its defences waver, and somewhere in Flintshire, a small girl named Elsie Lamb will one day discover she entered the world during Harry Potter - and stole rather the better story.

Dearest Gentle Reader, today's dispatches bring news of a pension policy that is making economists reach for the smelling salts, a royal school run that would test the mettle of any security detail, and a city that has decided the balaclava's moment of public glory is firmly at an end. Whether any of this constitutes progress is a question this Author leaves entirely to your discernment.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author can report that Monday has surpassed itself in the production of the extraordinary - from treasure beneath the royal floorboards to legislation governing the precise frequency of cake. There are errors of judgement to contemplate, a culture shift to digest, and one whist drive ticket that has waited seventy-six years to be appreciated. Do read on - the boots alone are worth it.