Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday brings cocaine concealed in bananas, a Kingdom baking under amber alerts, and a young sportswoman whose parents wrote her a note that changed everything. The affairs of state are no less theatrical - hover close, for there is much to savour and one rather remarkable phone call to consider.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday morning brings fire upon the water, a statistic so alarming it deserves its own amber alert, and the farewell of a man who - quite characteristically - requested an encore on his deathbed. This Author has much to report, and the heat is making her no more patient than usual.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Monday brings heat alerts, a footballing president whose friends are departing faster than the mercury can rise, and a Navy scheme that may yet require France's permission before it saves anyone. This Author has a great deal to say - and not one word of it will disappoint.