Dearest Gentle Reader, Thursday has once again outdone itself in the production of scandal, with a leadership scramble, a war-addled economy, and a fish and chip crisis of genuinely philosophical proportions. This Author has observed much, judged freely, and raised an eyebrow at approximately everything. The Capital, the corridors of power, and one small chip shop in Pembrokeshire all have starring roles in today's most diverting dispatch.

Dearest Gentle Reader, This Author finds herself scarcely able to set down her pen, for this day has delivered no fewer than five dramas demanding attention, from a most emotional defeat in the halls of North Britain to a certain deputy sharpening her blade against her own party's leader. Add a contagion most alarming, a war of arithmetic abroad, and a countryside menace with four legs and no remorse, and you have a Wednesday that shall not soon be forgotten.