Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday brings a sentencing scandal that has endured far too long, a maternity inquiry that found rather more embedded disgrace than the establishment would prefer, and a political speech so carefully unpinned from detail that one scarcely knows whether to applaud or merely ask a follow-up question. There is also, naturally, more heat on the horizon - and a doorbell camera that has done more for justice this season than many a magistrate.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings crocodiles in Cambridgeshire, a Prime Minister who refuses to depart, and a data regulator brought low by his own sense of humour - a fate This Author considers both fitting and instructive. There is also the small matter of a heatwave approaching with all the subtlety of a runaway carriage, and a political upset in Aberdeen that nobody saw coming in fifty years. One's lorgnette has rarely been so thoroughly required.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Tuesday has delivered a hurling stick, a cuckoo, and a cricket captain who apparently cannot resist a nightclub when victory is freshly won. If that is not sufficient to tempt you onwards, this Author can only suggest you may be beyond tempting - though she suspects you are not.