Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings a historic conviction from North Britain, a Prime Minister composing essays somewhere between Jeddah and Qatar, and a car wash in the Principality that has been moonlighting as the most reviewed smuggling operation in Europe. This Author's eyebrow has not lowered once since breakfast, and she does not expect it to do so before nightfall.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Wednesday has arrived in a blaze of quite inappropriate sunshine, bearing with it a ceasefire, a collapsed housing market, and a crime against scouts that defies all decent comprehension. This Author has much to report, and not a moment to spare - the ton shall not rest easy this April evening.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings a most extraordinary assortment of villainy, diplomatic hand-wringing, and at least one story involving luxury perfume purchased on borrowed virtue. This Author has raised both eyebrows and they have not yet returned to their natural position.