Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings Muscovite pilots playing aerial games of dare within six metres of an unarmed RAF aircraft, a former Health Secretary announcing a leadership coup over podcast, and two hapless walkers undone by the streams of North Britain - all while free omnibuses are hailed as the great salvation of the age. This Author has opinions on every last one of these matters, and not a single one shall be left unexamined.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Wednesday brings a trio of contradictions so delicious that This Author scarcely knows where to begin - a government that begs grocers for mercy, loosens the very sanctions it swore to tighten, and finds a certain royal duchess once again in the orbit of a man making very free with palace connections. Pull up a chair; the kettle need not be on long.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Sunday brings a triumvirate of delights that no fiction writer would dare invent: a resigned minister declares political catastrophe before luncheon, the Kingdom finishes last in Europe's grandest singing contest with a single Ukrainian point, and the Capital spends four and a half million pounds keeping itself from itself. Your devoted Author has observed it all - and found the absurdity quite inexhaustible.