Dearest Gentle Reader, this Friday brings dispatches of such gravity, such audacity, and such bureaucratic absurdity that This Author's pen has scarcely kept pace with the hour. A tale of invisible survivors, a broadening investigation into a most prominent Norfolk gentleman, and the particular torment awaiting those who thought escaping to the Continent might offer relief - all await within.

Dearest Gentle Reader, this Thursday brings Muscovite pilots playing aerial games of dare within six metres of an unarmed RAF aircraft, a former Health Secretary announcing a leadership coup over podcast, and two hapless walkers undone by the streams of North Britain - all while free omnibuses are hailed as the great salvation of the age. This Author has opinions on every last one of these matters, and not a single one shall be left unexamined.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Thursday has once again outdone itself in the production of scandal, with a leadership scramble, a war-addled economy, and a fish and chip crisis of genuinely philosophical proportions. This Author has observed much, judged freely, and raised an eyebrow at approximately everything. The Capital, the corridors of power, and one small chip shop in Pembrokeshire all have starring roles in today's most diverting dispatch.