Dearest Gentle Reader, Tuesday has arrived in unseasonable warmth and brought with it a most alarming collection of dispatches - doctors who will not work, holidaymakers who very much wish they had not, and a former footballer attending court from rather less glamorous surroundings than a golf club. This Author has her quill at the ready, her eyebrow already raised, and very much hopes your own health is in better order than the nation's at large.

Dearest Gentle Reader, Monday has delivered a most extraordinary haul of intrigue - a rapper whose visa may not survive the week, a government that giveth with one hand and reduceth with the other, and physicians who have once again declined to show up for work. This Author has observations on all of it, and they are not entirely printable in polite company.