The Week in the Ton – 23 March to 29 March


Dearest Gentle Reader,

This Author finds herself quite exhausted, for the week now concluded has presented such a relentless parade of calamity, impropriety, and sheer bewilderment that one scarcely knows whether to reach for the smelling salts or the brandy decanter. It is as though Society itself has collectively lost not merely its manners, but its collective mind.

Consider, if you will, the astonishing array of incompetence on display. We have witnessed diplomatic tensions over waterways whilst luncheons grow unconscionably expensive, followed swiftly by postal workers who appear to have invented their own definitions of delivery, and veterinarians charging what they fancy. A pattern emerges, does it not? Those entrusted with our welfare – whether through Government, medicine, or municipal service – seem to possess only a nodding acquaintance with honesty.

The week escalated rather dramatically. Wednesday brought arsonists, hospital silences, and a former Justice Minister with rather too much time on his hands, whilst Thursday darkened considerably with economic prophecies and shadow ships. Friday presented a housebound woman with surprisingly athletic hobbies, whilst Saturday revealed medicines that deceive and borders that cannot begin. Sunday’s repentant ministers and medical curiosities concluded this extraordinary week.

This Author observes that chaos, it appears, is not a temporary state of affairs, but rather our new permanent condition.


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A Note From This Author This is a pamphlet, not a public house. This Author does not entertain correspondence from the general public, receive unsolicited opinions, or engage with those who would presume to dispute the record. One publishes. One does not debate. Good day.